Christine's Anguish

Ang traffic. maliit lang ang puweblo ng ciudad na ito ng mga chavacano..
kaunting mali lang ng mga nagkakagulong pagmamaneho ng mga motorsiklo sira na agad ang panahon mo..maliit at masisikip ang daan. palibhasa hindi planado.
Ay mali, planado nga pala para sa mga kalesa nung unang panahon...
Mabuti na lang tricycle at motosiklong single ang hari ng daan. walang pong taxi dito.
Tumunog na naman ang paborito kong "Beer". dalawang taon na yata hanggang ngayon di ko pa napapalitan. Witheld ang nakalagay sa LCD screen, malamang overseas.
May hikbi sa kabilang linya..pero familiar ang boses ni Christine.
"Im so sad, i'm sorry for crying but i just can't help it..." aniya. "He was so good to me. di ko man lang siya nakita uli."
'lam ko matagal na nga. Nine years na yata nung naging abay siya ng kasal ni Christine.Kasama din ako pero hindi abay.
Alam ko close sila. he was her only best friend back during UST days.
dalawa hanggang tatlong oras na telebabad. Minsan magdamagan.
Gosh i miss those days.
Di na uso ang telebabad yata ngayon. mahal na ang tawag sa celphone.
Nahawa din ako sa humahagulgol na kaibigan sa kabilang linya.
Andito sya last month at naitanung nya sa akin kung kamusta na si Art.
Wala pa akong balita sabi ko.
pero sa isip isip ko hindi na yata maganda pag ganung di ako nakakatanggap na balita sa egroups namin.
maya-maya nahimasmasan. knuwento ng magagandang ala ala ng yumao.
mabait nga si Art wala akong masabi.
For a while back then, we became close.
nag-agawan kami sa isang polo sa Kirei para isuot sa graduation..Eventually we ended up buying almost similar color of different design.
Hay! Ani ng mga kaklase namin, para kayong kambal ha...

the flyer

It was March 1, 2008 when the flyer serviced the public. It was 7 days later when i got to expeience a spectacular view of Singapore skyline as i stepped inside its encapsulated interiors. which can actually accomodate at least 28 people. The experience was great; one can't help but get envious of the magnificence and opulence of this first rate tiny Asian country.

ang supot ng alimango

Late na naman ng dumating ako sa clinic. Magdadalawang oras na yatang naghihintay ang nanay ni Shakour, isang batang kakatanggal lang ng spleen dahil sa sakit na thalassemia. May tinatapos na naman kasing research sa Ateneo. as usual, sikat na naman si cramming. sanay na sanay tayong mga tamad. kaya ngang tapusin ng isang oras sa pagmamadali ang isang research proposal.
Pinapunta ko muna ang bata sa laboratoryo para sa CBC nang mapansin ko ang isang matandang babae ang nakaupo sa may dulong upuan ng reception area ang may hawak na puting supot na may marringgan ng pagkislot. Ang ina ni Adam.
"Pinabibigay ni Adam dok", habang inaabot ang puting supot. Inaya ko sa loob ng consultation room. "Pinagbilin talaga ni Adam na ibigay ito sa yo dok kahit anung mangyari..kaya pinagsikapan ko talagang bilhin at dalhin dito."
Amoy ko ang singaw ng preskong simoy ng dagat na nagmumula sa supot. Malikot ang nasa loob.
"Alam ni Adam na paborito mo ito, at saka di ba dok pinangako nya sa iyo ito...." garalgal na ang tinig ng ina..namumula ang dalawang mata habang may nakita akong namumuong kislap..
Nagsimula na syang magkwento..naramdaman kong nanuyo ang aking labi at lalamunan, mahirap magsalita..nahihiyang baka bumigay ang tinig at malaman ng inang mahina rin pala ako .. kailangang matibay ang loob ng mga manggagamot. di dapat nagpapakita ng emosyon..
"May pinapagawa pa sya sa tawi-tawi na banig para sa yo malapit na matapos"
Di ko mapigilan ang pagluha... di na alintana ang hiya... nagpakita rin ng kahinaan...
"alam mo ba dok pumunta kami sa clinic isang araw pagkatapos mong umalis papuntang Davao..dun ka raw magpaPasko sabi ni Ann...umiyak si Adam..'wala na ang doctor ko sinu na ang titingin sa akin..."
"tiniis niya ang nararamdamang sakit at hirap sa paghinga..ayaw nyang pumunta ng ospital ng hindi ikaw ang titingin.."
Ang sakit. ang lungkot mawalan ng isang tao na mataas ang tiwala sa yong kakayahan...
Sayang wala akong magawa nuong naghihirap siya..
Marami pa syang ikinuwento...mag0iisang oras yata. Di ko na alintana ang mga naghihintay na pasyente sa labas..
Nakinig lang sa inang nagdadalamhati...
Maraming salamat sa alimango 'nay, ang naalala kong huling nasambit.. habang may ngiti na sa labi ang ina..

Another Mother and Child

You and me against the world...
The love and affection provided by a devoted mother...
If only, she can give her life for her suffering son...
At a fresh age of 6 months, already afflicted by a rare disorder...
the doctor said pre-leukemia?
she doesn't know anything about it...
The only thing she knows about it is its unpredictability...
Anytime...
only He knows the time...
She's the only one he has to protect him..
He is her only boy...
But only for a time...temporarily.
But she's still hoping..
Praying..

Mother and Child

The innocence of a three year old boy...Two happy faces, with a big smile. They were happy from two different reasons. The mother was glad that she was reunited with her mother and two uncles. Her mother is a nurse from Libya.. Her two uncles (twins) were both living separately with their respective families: one from Naga City, the other from L.A., California..
The boy was very happy because they were a complete family again-his father just arrived from Bongao...
Little did he know that her mother has few months left...or even days.. He doesn't know that deep inside, she was suffering from the pains of cancer, and from sadness at the thought of leaving her family..
The very reasons why his grandmother and grand uncles arrived to be with their love one even for this last precious time...

Thank You: The Saddest Words, II

Peace be to you!

My Uncle Bong & Auntie Dina, My Uncle Manny and Auntie Tracy, and my Mommy are extending their "THANK YOU" to you for taking care of me while they were not here...

I and Efren would like to express our deepest gratitude for taking care of me (and still being taken cared of). For your patience, understanding and most of all of being considerate to us in terms of financial difficulties.

Personally, I am thanking you for being an instrument of Jesus. Na kahit po may katigasan po ako ng ulo, but still you gave me what you know is best for my health...

"MARAMING SALAMAT PO TALAGA NG LUBUSAN and GOD BLESS YOU"

Carl Sebastian, my son is thanking you also ( a 3 year old boy)

Truly Yours,
Bong And Dina,
Efren, Carl Sebastian and Me, Sandra

Note:
Sandra has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, she went into remission for 8 months after completion of treatment...unfortunately she relapsed..
A very difficult patient...
Very poor follow up ( due to financial difficulties)
Makulit ( always asking about everything, even asking why she was having nausea and vomiting during treatment)
She even asked me to talk to her husband to behave because of jealousy...
The final straw- She became pregnant in the middle of the chemotherapy sessions...

Thank You: the Saddest Words 1

'Tor (short for doctor in Zamboanga) Salamat ha.. "
Two hours later, he succumbed...
Almost 2 liters of blood in the iliopsoas area...
Factor VIII concentrates and croprecipitates are ambitious products even in this area of 700,000 people...
he didnt have to say it but he already knew even before he was admitted...
back in my clinic a day before, i was arguing with him...
he was stubborn and insisting he's better off resting at home...
he was more concerned with the expenses...
he left the clinic wearing that Mae West gait due to severe pains on his left thigh...
a few minutes later he gave in...
and the rest is history...

Back to the time when i first saw him two years ago...
He was very happy that finally a specialist came over and chose to stay in town...
He brought expiring 5 vials of Factor VIII concentrates as donation...
"Give these to your indigent patients, tor... i don't need them..."

Dr. Art Bonifacio, 37/M from Tacloban with Colon CA, Stage IV

hi guys!

(I)Just want to tell you that i'm constantly monitoring our website and it always touched me to see the overwhelming support of batch 95 particularly section A.
Thank you so much for your prayers, help and concerns. just finished my 1st course of chemo and it was an experience! an experience that brought me back to the ground.

In behalf of my family, my wife Greta and my 2 little angels (Arianne 4, Jamima 3), i want to hug you all for your support. i remember 1 person i talked to re my condition, he told me "the road will be rough, but you will meet angels along the way".

Thanks for being angel along my rough road now. It breaks my heart to see my 2 little kids full of energy not knowing exactly what is happening. but i think my 4 y.o. knows something because this morning when i sent her off to school, she hugged me tight and i saw tears in her eyes. and then she left without saying anything. God knows how i'm deeply hurt with the situation, but He did not give this to me without a purpose.

Again thank you so much, to those who texted, visited me during my OR at PGH. i dont know how to repay you guys. please keep in touch and lets pray for a successful treatment.

Reminder: stop eating isaw! i think eto na a napala ko kakakain ng isaw sa satellite number 5 sa Sapang Palay!

keep smiling and see you,

Art Bonifacio

To Ms Julie Newmar with Love .... Wong Foo

Dear Classmates.

medyo malungkot itong mga pangyayari sa buhay ng mga kaklase natin.. pinaka bago nga itong kay Art nakakagulat dahil advance stage na pala. I,m sure malaking gastusin talaga itong chemotherapy . Ano kaya pwede nating gawin para kay Art ? Sa lahat ng nagmamahal sa kanya kumkatok ako sa inyong mga puso para dingign ang mga proposal na ito.

1. Pledge an amount for him (yung maluwag sa puso at bulsa mo)
sa parteng ito d natin sure kung hangang magkano ang maipon natin. naiintindihan ko naman na may kanya kanya tayong pamilya na binubuhay. nalalapit pa naman ang isa sa pinakamagastos na panahon ang pagdating ng pasko. anyway let,s start the ball rolling
For Art Bonifacio
1. George Cabadbaran............ ......... .... P 5,000.00
2.
pakisulat na lang after me if you want to give and how much. Our next step then is to collect this pledges may be in a months time para mapagipunan pa.

2. Maybe we can do a fund raiser for Art ( concert, raffle, etc..)
Heto naman kailangan ng matinding trabaho at suporta mula sa ating lahat. tapos this will take time before natin maibigay ang money. time frame in organizing an event like this around 3 to 4 months or it may even take a year or more depende sa target income.

3. Ayoko muna isulat itong idea ko pang 1. malulungkot tayong lahat tsaka baka magalit kayo sa akin. discuss na lang natin pag nagkitakita tayo.

4. agrree ako sa proposal ni ces magpa mass tayo at doon natin pagusapan after. Sa UST ba tayo magpamass ( Pay Chapel)?

Itong sa akin ay mga suggestion lang pwede nyong kontrahin o ayunan. Basta ang importante gumawa tayo ng something para kay Allan.

George

Dear All,

Need to know how can we send our financial help to
Art? I'm in Bacolod and I can send it thru their
bank account. Thanks.

Ray



Dear All,

It is really sad to hear these types of news. I will coordinate with Marie on how we can offer further assistance since we are holding the same clinic.

Fred Uytengsu

Dear Classmates,

Any chapel/church would be a nice venue for a mass. Next Sunday will be a good time. please schedule it and expect me to attend.
Thanks Ces

Lester

Hi classmates.. .

So far only Elsa, George and Marie responded to my message. I will talk to Art about the mass... Maybe he would prefer somewhere in pasig bec he lives with his brother in pasig right now. Do you want in the chapel of Medical City maybe on a Sunday since it is located in Ortigas? Or UST pay chapel (as George suggested). Please reply or text me asap . ..

Chenelyn


hello everybody,

If you can get hold of Art's bank account, i guess a lot of our classmates are willing to give without hesitation thru his bank account.
baka away lang mag pledge ng amount for everybody to see. ( kahit magkano lang diba and it will surely help Allan)
wala pa ba date ang mass? so i could fix my schedule

Bing Chan

to everybody,
thanks for all the prayers and support ... I will just give my pledge to Art.

Johnny


deAR classmates,
I agree with bong's suggestions if we can't get Allan's account number maybe we can open an express teller account for him. Doon na lang natin i deposit lahat ng contributions tapos give the atm to him. Open muna tayo ng atm once mabigay natin yung atm card sa kanya tsaka tayo magstart magpadala. Salamat sa matyaga nyong pagbabasa.

Lester

Classmates.. .
Art just had his 1st chemotherapy this weekend. He will go back to tacloban and will come back on november 24-25, 2007. Our mass for him will be on november 25,2007. sunday. Neri will finalize the church and the time. we will update everybody. regarding the ATM and account, I still have to coordinate with Art. will tell you the details on the 25th or we can pass a box on the 25th and those who are willing to give can give any amount you like. See you all the 25th!!!.

Chenelyn


Dear All
i have new number- ......, email-.......d@yahoo.com
id like to thank chenelyn, george and others for their initiative..
Art truly needs our help.
keep updating, and ill wait for Art's account number
i also tried to contact Art''s barkadas in college (med tech) to provide help.
congressman raffy biazon was also our classmate in college..
i dont have any contact from him for years..kung may nakakakilala well, its just a suggestion, he might help him also..


tienearazamboaguena

On rainy days on mondays

Mostly bad news on the first day of the week ...

Frazna, 9 year old child with severe aplastic anemia is on her 15th admission since May for bleeding symptoms. She's in the hospital almost every 1-2 weeks...

Sarah Jane a 23 year old female who was diagnosed almost two years ago with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia, who went in remission after 10 cycles of chemotherapy, consulted again because of weakness...I broke the bad news that she is in relapse...at least 7 months after her last chemotherapy..she and her husband was devastated...Trying to bargain for further treatment options...

Hannylyn, a 14 year old teen age Tausug girl with Aplastic Anemia is for transfer to a government hospital due to financial difficulties... she needs blood badly.. the irony of life.. She's at the top of her class before being diagnosed two months ago...Anthony was her classmate when they graduated in elementary.. Anthony then was the top of their class... Anthony was my first leukemia patient... He died two years ago due to disease progression...

But some are good too...

Melania, a 56 year old female with Acute Monocytic Leukemia was overjoyed after learning the result of her flow cytometry which showed in remission status after one month of induction chemotherapy...Her daughter was tearful with happiness...

To Wong Foo With Love-Ms Julie Newmar

Hi classmates!!
One of our classmates.. .Art Bonifacio needs our help. He was recently diagnosed with colon CA (adenoCA), stage IV (liver mets). He underwent intestinal resection with end-to-end anastomosis. Now he needs several cycles of chemotherapy. However, finances not enough since a cycle needs 6 series (2x a week for 3 weeks) and each series costs around 100-180t (per cycle would cost him about a million). He is married with 2 children (4 and 3 years old). They live in Silay. Presently he is staying with his siblings in Pasig during the duration of the chemotherapy. This is not my idea. 2 of our classmates suggested this to me. It was for a good cause. Actually, when I opened this up to Alan (financial support) he was really hesitant. Nahihiya daw sya sa atin. However, we are not forcing you. You can share any amount that your heart is willing to give. Please acknowledge this message. Or, I can arrange a special mass for Art where we can all meet and get together. If you have any other suggestions please dont hesitate...send a message or text me through ......

Chenelyn

VERSIONS: A House Is Not A Home

One of the best songs ever written... sang by three great singers-Tamyra Gray of AI season 1, The legendary Whitney Houston, and Soulful R&B genius Alicia Keys... and it is dedicated to my favourite patient- a great and dear friend...a simple housewife to a good doctor , and a loving mother to three beautiful children- who just ended her sufferings today... memories of her will always remain forever...

A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sittin' there
But a chair is not a house and a house is not a home
When there's no one there to hold you tight
And no one there you can kiss goodnight

Whoa...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...
Girl

A room is a still a room, even when there's nothin' there but gloom
But a room is not a house and a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart

Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it's just a crazy game
When it ends, it ends in tears

Pretty little darling, have a heart, don't let one mistake keep us apart
I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there, sayin' that you're still in love with me, yeah...

I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home
When I climb the stairs and turn the key
Oh, please be there, still in love
I said still in love
Still in love with you...yeah...

Are you gonna be in love with me
I want you and need to be, yeah
Still in love with me
Say you're gonna be in love with me
It's drivin' me crazy to think that my baby
Couldn't be still in love with me

Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Are you gonna be, say you're gonna be
Well, well, well, well
Still in love, so in love, still in love with me
Are you gonna be
Say that you're gonna be

Still in love with me, yeah...
With me, oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...
Still in love with me, yeah...yeah...

A Tribute to Raffy

"to sleep, perchance to dream, for in that sleep of death what dreams may come... when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us ..
pause."
Tragedy.
To die at a very young age.
A boy with sweet innocent smile painted on his youthful face.
A boy with full of dreams
Full of life.
Is life unfair?
There is probably a perfect reason for all of these.
I would miss his frequent ranting of wanting to go home in the middle of a 5-day treatment session
I would miss his whisperring to his step mother, when he's ashamed to ask me about something..
I would miss his infectious enthusiasm when he wants to eat his favourite ice cream..
His endearing voice..whispering to me... doc, kelan ako uuwi?
and trying to promise me to behave himself and to woo me to let him go home so he can watch his favourite cartoons or play with his stepsister..
Even at the last minute, i can still see him composed..even out of breath due to severe pneumonia.. trying to let us know that he is ok.. and that everything is going to turn out fine...
indeed he was fine a couple of days later..because he left his sufferings to go to heaven..

The Confessions of Marian: A Teen-age Cancer Patient

Living or hearing news about young children suffering from serious diseases or undergoing general operation is quite normal for me. I would regularly see them on tv, read them on newspapers or even get the chance to know one of them. I always imagine what life's like for these young angels. And i would really love to be of help.

But it never came into my mind that someday i'll be able to experience it myself. It was the 10th day of December 2002 that marked my struggles. I was diagnosed to have cancer (Colorectal) Stage III. ANd from the moment i heard the results, i was totally shocked that i wasn't able to do anything but to cry and just get some comfort from my father. For a 16-year-old girl having to suffer one of the most serious diseases known today, i think having to accept the situation would really be difficult. At first, i thought that it would be the end and that i would live life far different from everybody. I felt discouraged. Discouraged to the fact that i would always be dependent on others and that i cannot be of service . I was afraid to lose my friends. I was afraid of being rejected, and i fear the day that i have to deny myself a lot of things.

Yes, its true, there would always be times when i get to be alone and feel sorry for myself and regret all the things that i've done in my past. But it never affected me that much because i got all the support that i need. I'm so lucky to have my support groups. From my family, my friends even those whom i don't know and most especially from my doctors. They brought me consolation and courage. My doctors have been very supportive and they have helped me gain my confidence and strength back. The situation was clearly explained to me. All the possibilities and consequences were prevented from me so much that i just saw myself walking with a BIG SMILE on my face.

For a patient like me, having to hear these kind of results would be very devastating. At first, i was totally confused and depressed about the way things were presented to me. They told me all possible operations that i might undergo and even told me that i might be a permanent colostomist. This might seem to be a very fast approach but i just thought that having the patient to be fully aware of her situation is very important. This would help both the patient and her family to prepare emotionally, mentally, spiritually and psychologically. My doctors showed me that having this kind of sickness is not a reason for me to give-up. Instead, they made me look at it as a challenge, as a stepping stone for my dreams. With this struggle, I think that it isn't bad after all. Thanks to them, it all turned out to be just fine.

Note: Marian passed away almost one year later because of liver metastasis...

Raffy

I can feel, the end is near ... It is one of those inevitable moments that you’re afraid of becoming real..Even though from the start you know its gonna happen, but you just tend to forget..... you took for granted because you were happy after the first medicines took its effect and made the patient more comfortable and even better. Biphenotypic type of Leukemia is a very difficult disease to treat . That was explained from the start. And Raffy’s father and stepmother practically begged for available treatments.

One problem with treating leukemia is treatment-related side effects particularly infection and bleeding using the standard protocol. Even though the dictum is be “harsh in order to be kind”, i decided not to give him that. Its like providing treatment but you end up harming the patient because they cannot afford supportive treatments-blood products and IV antibiotics..They don’t have enough money..so that modifying the kind of treatment is the best thing that i can do....to suit their financial capacity while a little compromising on the outcome.. the possibility of cure..

He is one of my favourites, very malambing and very cooperative. And he knew what was happening to him from the start. Well most children do...Of course there were tantrums from the start of treatment-difficult to pacify during blood extration or hard-headedness in taking their meds.. but eventually they learn to comply.. That's when they feel that something is wrong with them and that they have to cooperate in order to play their favourite toys, and eat their favourite food..

At a tender age of 6 years, Raffy suffered enough. He was left by his biological mother when his parents were separated. But fortunately, when his father remarried, the love and care of a true mother was provided by his step mother.

He is weak, and feverish. I saw some inflammation and bleeding points on his gums...some bruises on his arms and legs..I felt some lumps on his scalp.. He kept on complaining of ankle and knee pains..Even in his condition, i had to promise ice cream-his favourite-just to make him happy, which gave a brightness on his face..I left immediately quite ashamed to show emotions from his stepmother who was also misty eyed...

I just hope, he will not suffer this time....

Disclosure:Camilo, 81/M from Siocon

Is it my imagination when I saw a developing mist from his eyes?

I just told him my findings from his recent bone marrow aspiration.. he remained silent during the conversation. I know he was trying to evade this very sensitive issues but he seems to understand everything what i said. I saw sadness there. At his age now, he seemed to have very strong hope to live.

Of course he want to live, he had very good reasons to: his loving wife, always supportive, doesnt leave his side...then his family- his sons, daughters and grandchildren...They are all his strength..

Travelling eight hours by bus from their place to come over and visit me for his scheduled follow up every two weeks..He had to disregard exhaustion, dizziness and muscle pains from that long hours of travel just to be treated.

That is why i love this patient. He was my oldest patient with ALL. i know its futile to offer treatment, but when i first saw that look of hope, i can't deny him that chance. True enough, when i started giving his chemo drug, he became transfusion-free for more than three months. A great feat for a patient like him. He maintained normal counts not until now when i discovered what's seen on the peripherals is not reflective of the marrow pictures..

I offered some options, because i know palliative care is very important. i may not provide cure. but i may provide comfort and care..

I'll wait for their decisions...
Hopefully...

the elephant boy

i almost cried when he was brought to my clinic. Wearing a white scarf over his head to include major part of his face in order to hide his features. He had a stooped posture, and he was triyng his best not to look into my eyes..Sadness? feeling of desolation? i want to comfort him..

His mother went to me straight, 'tor wala me kwarta..mangayo lang me ug tabang..' bisaya in this chavakano country..

He went to manila, confident that wearing that slightly obvious lump on his right face can be remedied. He was referred by a local ENT for possible diagnostic and treatment purposes with an initial impression of malignancy.. almost two months of stay in a leading government hospital... but the only help they have provided is a vague biopsy result of " atypical cells suggestive of malignancy lymphoma vs undifferentiated CA...suggest.....etc etc etc..."

i was exasperated because they are ignorant of the fact that diagnostics and treatment they sought for in the capital city can be done where they came from. The doctor who first saw the patient has the responsibility to ask around if a specialist is available. there are 2 oncologists in the area.

short of money, iknow they cant afford the treatment, so i referred him for emergency management....he had poor self image, he was trying to cover up his deformed face because of fear and embarrasment? he cannot eat properly because of the mass obstructing his oral cavity. all he can do is drink milk or chocolate drink or water. he was so cachectic.. i convinced his mother to go to the government hospital for chemotherapy..i gave my referral letter and the procedures how to give his chemotherapy.

After 2 cycles, this is the patient...

God is sooo good!

"How can i not believe in God, when i see his miracles everyday..," i remember my mentor saying..

Then the mist came upon me...this time, i'm happy.