Raffy

I can feel, the end is near ... It is one of those inevitable moments that you’re afraid of becoming real..Even though from the start you know its gonna happen, but you just tend to forget..... you took for granted because you were happy after the first medicines took its effect and made the patient more comfortable and even better. Biphenotypic type of Leukemia is a very difficult disease to treat . That was explained from the start. And Raffy’s father and stepmother practically begged for available treatments.

One problem with treating leukemia is treatment-related side effects particularly infection and bleeding using the standard protocol. Even though the dictum is be “harsh in order to be kind”, i decided not to give him that. Its like providing treatment but you end up harming the patient because they cannot afford supportive treatments-blood products and IV antibiotics..They don’t have enough money..so that modifying the kind of treatment is the best thing that i can do....to suit their financial capacity while a little compromising on the outcome.. the possibility of cure..

He is one of my favourites, very malambing and very cooperative. And he knew what was happening to him from the start. Well most children do...Of course there were tantrums from the start of treatment-difficult to pacify during blood extration or hard-headedness in taking their meds.. but eventually they learn to comply.. That's when they feel that something is wrong with them and that they have to cooperate in order to play their favourite toys, and eat their favourite food..

At a tender age of 6 years, Raffy suffered enough. He was left by his biological mother when his parents were separated. But fortunately, when his father remarried, the love and care of a true mother was provided by his step mother.

He is weak, and feverish. I saw some inflammation and bleeding points on his gums...some bruises on his arms and legs..I felt some lumps on his scalp.. He kept on complaining of ankle and knee pains..Even in his condition, i had to promise ice cream-his favourite-just to make him happy, which gave a brightness on his face..I left immediately quite ashamed to show emotions from his stepmother who was also misty eyed...

I just hope, he will not suffer this time....